Pink is the New Black

Four years after completing my breast cancer treatment (and three years after my last blog post), this is what I know.

Pink is the New Black.

Pink is everywhere for breast cancer awareness, for treatment, for prevention and for a cure.

As a survivor, it seems as though I can't get away from the pink.

Four years ago, I worried that the pink made breast cancer seem rosy and pretty.  Breast cancer is neither.

Some days breast cancer still feels black.

But, awareness and treatment and prevention and a cure are all PINK.

So, I embrace October.  And, I embrace the pink that unifies the breast cancer community.

For me, Pink is the New Black.

(In embracing the pink, I wrote to The Ellen DeGeneres Show hoping to be a guest in the studio audience sometime in October.  As I have an affinity to celebrity breast cancer survivors, I imagined myself sitting next to Ellen's mom, Betty.  Betty is a survivor.  I have not been asked to be part of the audience yet, but I was chosen as the "Breast Cancer Survivor of the Week."  See the attached link).

 http://www.ellentv.com/2014/10/16/survivor-of-the-week-barbara-m/

      Avon Walk for Breast Cancer-2014

       (wearing pink, of course)

If you know someone who could benefit from or would like to read this blog, please forward the link to them.beingmemovingforward.blogspot.com

Breast cancer alone can be terrifying, but the breast cancer community is empowering.

Real Survivors Do Wear Pink

I walked in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this weekend, and as it turns out, I did wear pink.

I expected to be surrounded by seas of pink and pink merchandise.  I expected to be overwhelmed by the pink.  I'm critical of the pinkification of America.  I worry that linking pink to breast cancer makes people think that breast cancer is rosy.  And, I worry that people will think that there is a cure for all breast cancers and forget about the many women living with and dying from metastatic breast cancer.

This is what I learned this weekend.  Pink can be hot.  Pink can be fiery.  And, pink can be unifying.

There were no pink toasters or pink yogurt lids or pink teddy bears.   And, there were no rose colored glasses put on cancer this weekend.

There were 13,000 women and men who walked 39.3 miles over 2 days and raised over 8.4 million dollars.

I walked with my friend, Nadine, and with the other walkers we walked 26.2 miles the first day.

On the Brooklyn Bridge--at "Mile Chai"

It turns out that the hardest part was not the pink and not even the actual walking.  (Although, miles 22-26.2 on day one were killer).

My Cheering Crew at Mile 22

It turns out the hardest part of the Walk was reading the tee shirts that people had made in memory of women who had died of breast cancer.

One woman wore a shirt with a picture of a friend who had died this week and was being buried Saturday while we walked.  Another group of women wore tee shirts in memory of a woman who died when she was 21.  Those were the hardest parts.

The easiest part was the pink.  Pink was strong.  Pink made the walkers look like a unified group walking to end breast cancer.  It turns out when used responsibly, pink can be powerful.

We ended the first day at Randall's Island where Avon had set up a Wellness Village with doctors and chiropractors and foot massages and meals and showers.  Many walkers stayed on Randall's Island overnight in tents.

Pink Tent City at the Wellness Village

Nadine and I took the shuttle bus and spent the night at the Sheraton.

I'll walk.  I'll raise money.  I might even wear pink.  But, I'm not sleeping in a tent after walking 26.2 miles.

We had beautiful weather again on day two.  And, 13.1 miles was a breeze after 26.2.  We shuttled up to Randall's Island and started walking again.

We walked with other survivors, big corporate groups, families, friends and so many volunteers.

This guy has been volunteering for 12 years

We walked, because we could.  And, we did.  We crossed the finish line around one o'clock at Pier 86.

At the Finish Line

These are the facts:  Every three minutes a woman will be diagnosed with breast cancer.  One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in a lifetime. 

These are also the facts:  In two days, 13,000 people walked 39.3 miles together to raise 8.4 million dollars to support women in need of treatment and to support breast cancer research.

And, this is also a fact:  It turns out that real survivors do wear pink.  When we crossed the finish line, Avon gave all the survivors hot pink tee shirts.  I had walked 39.3 miles.  I had raised over $8,500.

Somehow wearing pink felt okay.

That's me in pink with the Intrepid* behind me.

intrepid:  characterized by resolute fearlessness, fortitude and endurance




Many thanks to everyone who supported me in the Walk.  I couldn't have done any of it without you.

39 Days to 39.3 miles

In 39 days I will be walking in the 39.3 mile Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.  I've been training (and I've been shopping for my anything-but-pink walking gear).  But, I'm taking a minute for a little shameless fund raising.  I have set my personal goal for the Walk at $5,000.  I am overwhelmed by the generous contributions many of you have made.  Thank you.  Because of you, I am close to my goal, but I'm not there yet.  And, quite honestly, I'd like to surpass my goal. 

If you are at all interested, and if you can, please make a donation to the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer online by clicking on the following link, which will bring you to my personal page.

http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk/NewYork?px=6147606&pg=personal&fr_id=2070

Forgive the repetition, but if all of this fund raising seems too big and corporate and "pink" for you, please consider the following fund, The Maite Aquino Memorial Fund.  The Fund will focus on specific research programs that seem to have a high impact on solving the problem of metastatic breast cancer. It is a very targeted, specific fund, and I promise you every penny will be well spent.

http://www.maiteaquino.org/

Elizabeth asked me why I was walking in the Avon Walk if they already have a cure for breast cancer.  Jay and I have always told Elizabeth and Andrew that my breast cancer was treatable and curable.  And, I would be fine.  Dying of breast cancer is not an option in their heads.

But, she asked, and I took a deep breath and answered.  I told her that, sadly, not all women survive breast cancer.  She seemed ready to hear the truth.  I wanted her to hear the truth (at least part of the truth) from me.  I told her that older women with weakened immune systems infrequently die of breast cancer.

I think that was enough for her (and for me) for now.

Camp Visiting Day--July 2011

I'm Walking, but I Won't be Wearing Pink

I am participating in the New York City Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this year.  It is a 2-day/39.3 mile walk in October to benefit the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade, a 502(c)(3) public charity.  Their mission is to provide access to care for all women and to work toward finding a cure.

You may already know that I'm not fond of the color pink and its association with breast cancer.   Breast cancer and breast cancer treatment is not pink, and certainly not rosy.  But, pink raises money. And, I am very interested in raising money to find better, more effective treatments and ultimately a cure for breast cancer.

So I'm walking, and I'm raising money, but I won't be wearing pink.

I am walking because I can.

I am walking, because I am lucky that my cancer was detected relatively early.   I am walking, because twenty months after diagnosis I am healthy and strong enough (knock on wood) to walk 39.3 miles.

I am lucky, and I am grateful.

And, now it is my time, it is my privilege, to help raise money for breast cancer treatment and research.

Every three minutes a woman in the United States is diagnosed with breast cancer.  In the time that it takes for you to read this blog post, a woman will receive a breast cancer diagnosis.  Those are awful and unacceptable statistics.

I know five women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer since I was--only 20 months ago.

And, as I write this it is still hard to believe and harder to write that I have an old college friend who has recently died from metastatic breast cancer.

Some days it feels like a big, fat pink plague.

If you are at all interested, you can make a donation to the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer online by clicking on the following link, which will bring you to my personal page.

http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk/NewYork?px=6147606&pg=personal&fr_id=2070

If all of this fund raising seems too big and corporate and "pink" for you, but you are still interested in finding better treatments for breast cancer, please consider the following fund.  My college friend's husband has set up a fund in her name, The Maite Aquino Memorial Fund.  It is a perpetual fund to support efforts to cure breast cancer.  The Fund will focus on specific research programs that seem to have a high impact on solving the problem of metastatic breast cancer. It is a very targeted, specific fund, and I promise you every penny will be well spent.

http://www.maiteaquino.org/


Maite and I never had a chance to talk about our breast cancer, but somehow I have a feeling that she wouldn't be fond of all the "pink" either.

Some Days . . .

it feels like cancer really is in my rear view mirror.

Camp Visiting Day--July 2011

Not the "Bar-bra"

A few months ago, I wrote about the challenges of finding a good bra for my post unilateral mastectomy, reconstructed body.  One breast needs a lot of support; the other needs none.  I couldn't find a bra that made me look reasonably symmetrical and felt comfortable too.

Malia Mills (http://www.maliamills.com/) makes amazing bathing suits that do the trick.  I bought a tankini, and I bought one of her bikini tops to wear as a bra.  The tankini and bikini are both super comfortable, and my body looks symmetrical.  But, the bikini top isn't seamless.  So while the Malia Mills bikini tops are amazing bathing suits, they're not always perfect as bras.

For yoga and sport tanks and bras I have always loved lululemon athletica  (http://shop.lululemon.com/).  They make the most supportive and comfortable tops.  Most of their tanks and bras have mesh liners with pockets for removable cups.  My favorites are the "Light Up Tank" and the "Ta-Ta Tamer."  But, I can't wear yoga tanks and sports bras everyday (or can I?).

I wanted to work with a bra manufacturer to design the perfect bra for women like me--the "Bar-bra," I would to call it.  But, here's the thing--the "Bar-bra" already exists.

It's name isn't Bar-bra.  It's "Lara."

I didn't look for bras in the boutique at the Evelyn Lauder Breast Center at Sloan Kettering.  Because, well, the boutique screams BREAST CANCER.  There's pink everywhere.  Every and any item that could possibly have a pink ribbon does--hats, bracelets, scarves, pens, books.  You name it; it has a pink ribbon or pink something on it.

Maybe I didn't go to the "pink boutique" because I just wanted to be like the old me and bra shop in places the old me would have shopped.  But, this body is not my old body.  This body had cancer and has been reconstructed and radiated.  This body is asymmetrical and some days still stiff and sore.  And, this body needs a little more help than the ladies and the bras at Nordstrom can give.

After my last appointment with my breast surgeon I broke down and went into the "pink boutique."  And, the professionally certified bra fitter (that's her title, and she deserves it) introduced me to "Lara."  "Lara" (http://www.amoena.com/us/Products/Lingerie/Feel/Lara.htm) is the best bra I have found in my year long search for an attractive, comfortable bra for my unilaterally reconstructed body.

"Lara" is sold online and at the Evelyn Lauder Breast Center at MSKCC.

And, I love "Lara." (Although, I still think "Bar-bra is a better name).  

 "Lara" by Amoena

Looking good.  Healing good.  Feeling good.




I'm not a spokeswoman for Malia Mills or lululemon or Amoena.  I love their products and want to share them.

If you know someone who could benefit from or would like to read this blog, please forward the link to them.beingmemovingforward.blogspot.com

Breast cancer alone can be terrifying, but the breast cancer community is empowering.

Betty Ford, Will You Be My Cancer Twin?

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I wanted very badly to find someone who had my type of cancer (estrogen receptor positive/progesterone receptor positive), my stage cancer (2A) and my cancer treatment (unilateral mastectomy, eight chemotherapy treatments, and 28 radiation treatments).  I thought that if I found someone who was my cancer twin, and she survived and was doing okay, I would be okay too.   

I didn't find an exact cancer twin.  There are a lot of women with breast cancer, but there are also a lot of variables.  So, I have no twin.  But, if I could choose a twin, I would choose Betty Ford.

Betty Ford, breast cancer's patron saint, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1974.  She had a mastectomy, lymph node removal (She had three affected lymph nodes.  I had three affected lymph nodes.) and two years of chemotherapy.  And, Betty Ford went on to live to 93.  That's the kind of cancer twin I was looking for.

But, more than be her cancer twin, I want to be as honest and optimistic about breast cancer as Betty Ford.  By being so open about her disease, Betty Ford got people talking about breast cancer.  Betty Ford helped women to know that breast exams are important, and cancer is not a life sentence.  

She advised women facing breast cancer treatment "to go as quickly as possible and get it done."  She also said, "once it's done, put it behind you and go on with your life."  (Sounds a little like, "put it in your rear view mirror and move forward.") 

I'm working on it, Betty, I'm working on it. 

Rest in peace, First Lady.