it feels like cancer really is in my rear view mirror.
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| Camp Visiting Day--July 2011 |
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Not the "Bar-bra"
A few months ago, I wrote about the challenges of finding a good bra for my post unilateral mastectomy, reconstructed body. One breast needs a lot of support; the other needs none. I couldn't find a bra that made me look reasonably symmetrical and felt comfortable too.
Malia Mills (http://www.maliamills.com/) makes amazing bathing suits that do the trick. I bought a tankini, and I bought one of her bikini tops to wear as a bra. The tankini and bikini are both super comfortable, and my body looks symmetrical. But, the bikini top isn't seamless. So while the Malia Mills bikini tops are amazing bathing suits, they're not always perfect as bras.
For yoga and sport tanks and bras I have always loved lululemon athletica (http://shop.lululemon.com/). They make the most supportive and comfortable tops. Most of their tanks and bras have mesh liners with pockets for removable cups. My favorites are the "Light Up Tank" and the "Ta-Ta Tamer." But, I can't wear yoga tanks and sports bras everyday (or can I?).
I wanted to work with a bra manufacturer to design the perfect bra for women like me--the "Bar-bra," I would to call it. But, here's the thing--the "Bar-bra" already exists.
It's name isn't Bar-bra. It's "Lara."
I didn't look for bras in the boutique at the Evelyn Lauder Breast Center at Sloan Kettering. Because, well, the boutique screams BREAST CANCER. There's pink everywhere. Every and any item that could possibly have a pink ribbon does--hats, bracelets, scarves, pens, books. You name it; it has a pink ribbon or pink something on it.
Maybe I didn't go to the "pink boutique" because I just wanted to be like the old me and bra shop in places the old me would have shopped. But, this body is not my old body. This body had cancer and has been reconstructed and radiated. This body is asymmetrical and some days still stiff and sore. And, this body needs a little more help than the ladies and the bras at Nordstrom can give.
After my last appointment with my breast surgeon I broke down and went into the "pink boutique." And, the professionally certified bra fitter (that's her title, and she deserves it) introduced me to "Lara." "Lara" (http://www.amoena.com/us/Products/Lingerie/Feel/Lara.htm) is the best bra I have found in my year long search for an attractive, comfortable bra for my unilaterally reconstructed body.
"Lara" is sold online and at the Evelyn Lauder Breast Center at MSKCC.
And, I love "Lara." (Although, I still think "Bar-bra is a better name).
Looking good. Healing good. Feeling good.
I'm not a spokeswoman for Malia Mills or lululemon or Amoena. I love their products and want to share them.
If you know someone who could benefit from or would like to read this blog, please forward the link to them.beingmemovingforward.blogspot.com
Malia Mills (http://www.maliamills.com/) makes amazing bathing suits that do the trick. I bought a tankini, and I bought one of her bikini tops to wear as a bra. The tankini and bikini are both super comfortable, and my body looks symmetrical. But, the bikini top isn't seamless. So while the Malia Mills bikini tops are amazing bathing suits, they're not always perfect as bras.
For yoga and sport tanks and bras I have always loved lululemon athletica (http://shop.lululemon.com/). They make the most supportive and comfortable tops. Most of their tanks and bras have mesh liners with pockets for removable cups. My favorites are the "Light Up Tank" and the "Ta-Ta Tamer." But, I can't wear yoga tanks and sports bras everyday (or can I?).
I wanted to work with a bra manufacturer to design the perfect bra for women like me--the "Bar-bra," I would to call it. But, here's the thing--the "Bar-bra" already exists.
It's name isn't Bar-bra. It's "Lara."
I didn't look for bras in the boutique at the Evelyn Lauder Breast Center at Sloan Kettering. Because, well, the boutique screams BREAST CANCER. There's pink everywhere. Every and any item that could possibly have a pink ribbon does--hats, bracelets, scarves, pens, books. You name it; it has a pink ribbon or pink something on it.
Maybe I didn't go to the "pink boutique" because I just wanted to be like the old me and bra shop in places the old me would have shopped. But, this body is not my old body. This body had cancer and has been reconstructed and radiated. This body is asymmetrical and some days still stiff and sore. And, this body needs a little more help than the ladies and the bras at Nordstrom can give.
After my last appointment with my breast surgeon I broke down and went into the "pink boutique." And, the professionally certified bra fitter (that's her title, and she deserves it) introduced me to "Lara." "Lara" (http://www.amoena.com/us/Products/Lingerie/Feel/Lara.htm) is the best bra I have found in my year long search for an attractive, comfortable bra for my unilaterally reconstructed body.
"Lara" is sold online and at the Evelyn Lauder Breast Center at MSKCC.
And, I love "Lara." (Although, I still think "Bar-bra is a better name).
 |
| "Lara" by Amoena |
Looking good. Healing good. Feeling good.
I'm not a spokeswoman for Malia Mills or lululemon or Amoena. I love their products and want to share them.
If you know someone who could benefit from or would like to read this blog, please forward the link to them.beingmemovingforward.blogspot.com
Breast cancer alone can be terrifying, but the breast cancer community is empowering.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Betty Ford, Will You Be My Cancer Twin?
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I wanted very badly to find someone who had my type of cancer (estrogen receptor positive/progesterone receptor positive), my stage cancer (2A) and my cancer treatment (unilateral mastectomy, eight chemotherapy treatments, and 28 radiation treatments). I thought that if I found someone who was my cancer twin, and she survived and was doing okay, I would be okay too.
I didn't find an exact cancer twin. There are a lot of women with breast cancer, but there are also a lot of variables. So, I have no twin. But, if I could choose a twin, I would choose Betty Ford.
Betty Ford, breast cancer's patron saint, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1974. She had a mastectomy, lymph node removal (She had three affected lymph nodes. I had three affected lymph nodes.) and two years of chemotherapy. And, Betty Ford went on to live to 93. That's the kind of cancer twin I was looking for.
But, more than be her cancer twin, I want to be as honest and optimistic about breast cancer as Betty Ford. By being so open about her disease, Betty Ford got people talking about breast cancer. Betty Ford helped women to know that breast exams are important, and cancer is not a life sentence.
She advised women facing breast cancer treatment "to go as quickly as possible and get it done." She also said, "once it's done, put it behind you and go on with your life." (Sounds a little like, "put it in your rear view mirror and move forward.")
I'm working on it, Betty, I'm working on it.
Rest in peace, First Lady.
I didn't find an exact cancer twin. There are a lot of women with breast cancer, but there are also a lot of variables. So, I have no twin. But, if I could choose a twin, I would choose Betty Ford.
Betty Ford, breast cancer's patron saint, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1974. She had a mastectomy, lymph node removal (She had three affected lymph nodes. I had three affected lymph nodes.) and two years of chemotherapy. And, Betty Ford went on to live to 93. That's the kind of cancer twin I was looking for.
But, more than be her cancer twin, I want to be as honest and optimistic about breast cancer as Betty Ford. By being so open about her disease, Betty Ford got people talking about breast cancer. Betty Ford helped women to know that breast exams are important, and cancer is not a life sentence.
She advised women facing breast cancer treatment "to go as quickly as possible and get it done." She also said, "once it's done, put it behind you and go on with your life." (Sounds a little like, "put it in your rear view mirror and move forward.")
I'm working on it, Betty, I'm working on it.
Rest in peace, First Lady.
Friday, July 1, 2011
It's (Still) All About the Hair
I know three women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer since I was (three women in eighteen months). When we talk about cancer, first we talk about our doctors and where we were treated. And, then they ask the "important" questions: when did I stop wearing my wig? And, when did my eyelashes and eyebrows grow back?
It's (still) all about the hair.
So here it is, on the anniversary of my last day of chemo (my first chemo-versary), my hair before, during and after chemotherapy.
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| February 2010 The day before my mastectomy. A month before chemo. |
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| April 2010 The curly hair wig. My hair started "releasing" exactly two weeks after my first chemo treatment. I had it shaved off and had my second "wig fitting." |
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| July 2010 Three weeks after chemo (wearing the straight hair wig). My eyebrows lasted for a long time. Everyday I gently washed and patted my face dry-- I didn't want to disturb any of the lashes. By late July I had maybe three eyelashes/brows left. Elizabeth's first words when she saw me at camp visitingday were,"your eyes look freaky." They did. |
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| August 2010 Six weeks after the end of chemo. I had fuzzy hair under the wig and the beginning of fuzzy eyebrows and lashes. |
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| October 2010 I stopped wearing the wigs two months after chemo. Three months after chemo--soft downy hair and furry eyebrows and lashes. |
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| December 2010 Five months after chemo--gray hair, full eyelashes and brows. |
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| January 2011 Seven months after chemo--my first (semi permanent) hair color. Thank you, Michael Casey @ Sally Hershberger. |
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| February 2011 Eight months after chemo--lots of chemo curls. |
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| April 2011 Nine months after chemo--more curls. |
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| June 2011 Close to a year after to chemo. Lots of curls--still no clue what to do with them. |
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| July 2011 Third semi permanent hair color. |
So a year after chemo this is what I know--cancer is not all about the hair. Cancer is about one day at a time. Cancer is about showing yourself and your kids that when life throws you a curve ball you find the best doctors, get them on your team and hit that ball out of the park. Cancer is about getting yourself to all of your appointments no matter how sick you feel. Cancer is about just getting through it all.
But, cancer is also about the hair. It just is. When I was being treated, I didn't feel anything at all like me. I can't even describe how much not-like-me I felt. So, it would have been nice if when I was getting ready to swing at that curve ball, I could have looked a little more like me--and not a freaky, snake-eyed GI Jane. That's why it's all about the hair.
I know that I say I hate the curls and the barrettes and all of the hair products. And, I do.
But really, curly or not, this hair is mine.
If you know someone who could benefit from or would like to read this blog, please forward the link to them.beingmemovingforward.blogspot.com
Breast cancer alone can be terrifying, but the breast cancer community is empowering.
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