A Week in the Life

Once upon a time my body was cancer factory.  And for that one betrayal, that one indiscretion of my immune system, this body is going to be scanned and probed and scoped for the rest of my life.


This is what last week looked like:

Thursday, May 12
Standard, every six month, well visit with my breast surgeon (who I love as much as Jay) and a unilateral mammogram at Sloan Kettering.   (Unilateral because the implant side does not get a mammogram.  No breast tissue.  No mammogram).  Mammogram results:  "normal mammogram."

Monday, May 16th
Initial consult with gastrointerologist.   I got all of the instructions for the pre colonscopy cleanse and the go ahead to schedule the actual colonoscopy at my "convenience."  Moving right along . . .

Wednesday, May 18th
Follow up pelvic sonogram to continue to monitor my ovarian cysts.  I never had ovarian cysts before cancer, but these cysts (I still have two) continue to look normal "nothing to sorry about."

Thursday, May 19th
Phone call with my gynecologist.  The ovarian cysts look normal.  But, because of my "history," she would like me to have another pelvic sonogram in eight weeks.  Just for the record, that would be a very thorough internal and external sonogram of every organ in my pelvic region.  Did I mention "thorough?"


By coincidence all of the appointments were scheduled in the same week.

A one week long reminder that I still lead an over examined life. 

I say scan and probe and scope away. 

I'm all for the over examining.  And, the normal results aren't bad either.



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Happy (very happy) Mother's Day

The hardest part of my cancer diagnosis, the thing that I worried (and worry) about the most, was my two children.

Who would take care of them while I was being treated?  Who would mother them when I was sick?  And, God forbid, what would happen if I died?  Who would be there for their everyday?  And, who would be there for all of their big milestones?  Who would do my job?

My food and exercise and anti cancer obsessions are really an insurance plan I've taken out with myself in my head.  The treadmill and the leafy green vegetables and low sugar diet are all about my obsession with life and being alive for all of the good stuff that is happening now and that has yet to happen. 

Last week, a year and a half after cancer, as I watched a prince marry his college sweetheart, I realized that some of my worries were slightly less worrisome--ever so slightly.

For a year and a half I have been worrying that I might not be around for my children's big and small milestones.  But, last week, after "the dress" was revealed, the vows were exchanged, the royal kisses were kissed, the fascinators fascinated, and William and Kate drove away in the Aston Martin, I realized that I didn't think for one minute the whole morning about being (or not being) around for anyone's wedding.  Or anyone's anything.

When I watched the beautiful, raven haired Kate walk down the aisle of Westminster Abbey with her father, I just thought that someday my beautiful, raven haired daughter, if she chooses to marry and chooses to have a wedding, will unquestionably be as beautiful as Kate.

And, I didn't worry, for the first time in a long time, at all.

I guess that was my brain's Mother's Day present to me.

And, I guess that really is moving forward.

 

 

Happy (very happy) Mother's Day.