In like a Lion, Out like a Lamb

Two weeks ago I was packing for a family vacation to the Dominican Republic.  We had the same trip planned for last year--same week, same place.  But, we canceled.

Last year, instead of a week long trip to the Caribbean, I had a day trip to Sloan Kettering for a mastectomy.

Last year, pre-surgery, I was shopping and searching for button down shirts and flannel pajamas.

This year, I was shopping and searching for bras and bikinis.  The bra shopping went badly.  I was emotionally (and physically) beaten down and bruised.  More on that in my previous post.

I still haven't found a "bra" that works well and is comfortable, BUT I did find a bikini top that does not have under-wire, fits great, looks great, and can be worn as a bra.

I already had a Malia Mills bikini that my best friend gave me a few years ago.  The old bikini fit my new body.  It got me thinking.  I called Malia Mills and spoke to Ashley who helped me choose the best styles and sizes for me.  The most amazing customer service ever.

I *HEART* Malia Mills!

She designs (and manufactures in the US) the most amazingly flattering, comfortable bikinis, tankinis and bathing suits.  I ordered a tankini AND a bikini top to wear as a bra.  Seek and ye shall find . . .

I wore the bikini and tankini all week.  Not only did I look symmetrical (no small feat), but I had cleavage like a regular woman (or a 41 year old woman who has not had a mastectomy).  That might not sound like a big deal--but symmetry and cleavage are a big deal one year post mastectomy.

A.  Very.  Big.  Deal.

Thank you, Malia Mills (and Dr. Cordeiro)

"Love thy differences" (trademark Malia Mills)

Ashley told me that Malia Mills is at work on a lingerie line.  And, I can promise you that I'll be one of her first (and very frequent) customers.  Bra problem solved.  Cross it off the list.

The bra shopping disaster got me thinking.  There have been a bunch of retailers and products that I've been told about or I found that were incredibly helpful this past year.

I wanted to share them--in no particular order.

Hip (Breast Cancer) Tips

PJ Salvage Flannel Pajamas (  http://pjsalvage-shop.com/  Important mastectomy advice from Andrew's kindergarten teacher--it's impossible to get into pullover shirts post surgery.  Button down shirts (I got mine at J Crew) and pajamas (I bought them at Nordstrom) make life much easier.  Button down shirts also hide the bulkiness of any surgical drains post surgery).

Barry's Bitz and Pieces ( www.bitzandpieces.com for wigs and head coverings.  Edward was my wig choosing and wig fitting hero).

Buff  (  buffwear.com  Great head wraps and head bands that are hip and comfortable--with SPF.  I used the head wrap alone and the headbands with my wig.  I found them at the Sloan Kettering Breast Center boutique and online).

Laura Mercier (  http://www.lauramercier.com/store/shop/Brows_Brow-Powder-Duo_prod150018  ) eye brow brush and eye brow powder

Giovanni "Smooth as Silk" Deep Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner  (Even when I had no hair, I still shampooed my head.  This brand was recommended to me, and I thought I should pass it on.  It was very moisturizing on my dry, bald scalp.  I still use it.  I found it at Whole Foods).

Weleda Calendula Baby Face Creme  (  http://usa.weleda.com/our-products/categories/baby.aspx  ) I used it after every radiation treatment and before bed every night.  I still use it, because five months since my last radiation treatment, my body is still at work healing the radiated skin.  I found it at Whole Foods).

Loreal "Lumi Controle Define Polish"  (When my hair first started to grow in, it needed a little texture and a lot of help.  This worked really well).

Michael Casey (Sally Hershberger Salon)  Hair colorist extraordinaire.  The man who turned my "Bea Arthur" gray hair into "Halle Berry" curls. 

Malia Mills  (maliamills.com I really can't say enough about how much a tankini and bikini/bra impacted my vacation and my life.  Malia Mills bikini made me feel not just good for a woman who had cancer--but just good.  Her tag line is "Love Thy Differences."  Enough said).

lululemon athletica  (lululemon. com  Have I mentioned I'm a fan?  I went to every chemo infusion in comfortable, yoga clothes that made me feel comfortable, put together and strong enough to fight breast cancer).

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This winter has been a huge emotional roller coaster ride.  These months filled with anniversaries of diagnosis, doctors' appointments and surgeries have been overwhelming--overwhelmingly overwhelming.

I have days that I am still thinking about cancer (and cancer recurrence) all day.  I think about who I was before cancer, and who I am now.  The cancer treatment was awful but manageable.  I think, because it was so active.  These post treatment, passive days can be killer.

And, I have other days that I get through with just a few (well, more than a few) fleeting (okay, maybe not so fleeting) thoughts about cancer. 

Last year, March came in like a lion with my mastectomy on March 8th.  And, this year with a week of vacation at the beach behind me, I hope it goes out like a lamb.

like a lamb . . . (with a Malia Mills bikini under my t-shirt)